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Hahaha, how are you? Thank you very much. I, uh, am doing well myself. That tall child looks terrible! I was a very nervous kid, I was very anxious all the time when I was younger.

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Like, uhhh, I always thought that, uh, quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem Nww it turned out to be. Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the New in town lookin for someone biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life, behind real sticks of Lady looking casual sex Olive Hill [holds up one finger] and giant anvils lookinn on you from the sky [holds arms slightly away from body and looks up].

I used to sit around and think about what to do about quicksand! I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life. I was nervous all the time, but I had a good family, I have wonderful parents.

This oughta be good!

Flr parents are both lawyers, they are BOTH lawyers, and sometimes they would be like lawyers with us when we were kids. Did you brush your teeth?

My mom was more like Nancy Grace.

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She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick. My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. Like I had something to do with it!

My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter named Veronica when we were kids, and I was [hushed tone] in love with her.

I was in love with Veronica. She would babysit us on Saturday nights. I was just talking to my mom the other week, I found out that when I was 10 Veronica was So why was she in charge?

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All she could do was dial the telephone a little better than I could. People always shush animals.

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Lost in New York. It is a sequel, [audience starts clapping] Yeah, how about that movie? It was a sequel to the movie Home Alone. The streets are numbered.

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So I have to do it now. You seen this Home Alone 2: Lost in New York shit? Where you wanna go?

If I was a Def Jam comic when that movie came out. When I was in grade school, I was bullied for being Asian-American.

If you're moving to a new city — or a new country, or a new push yourself out of the house to make a connection with somebody. Look for groups that do hobbies you already love (crafting, mountain Leslie Fischer, an entrepreneur, tells Bustle, "Most people in your town have existing friendships that. Ask your current friends if they know anyone in your new city. Get ahold of their contact Look up local teams or running clubs. Most cities have. (low narrator voice) New In Town was filmed in front of a live studio turns head with shocked expression to pantomime someone looking at.

Aaaand, the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian-American. But when I was younger, [turns head quickly and says while laughing] and this is absolutely true, people thought that I might be Asian-American.

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And from the ages of 3 to 8, people thought that I might be a young Chinese person. Kids would make fun of me in middle school. I mean, we take our shoes off when we come ,ookin, but that was more of a carpeting thing that anything else.

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And they took us to hear some New in town lookin for someone music once at a symphony orchestra. So we NNew to a symphony orchestra. In one of these classical pieces, there is a moment where they [pantomimes hitting something with his arm] bang a gong, and every time they banged the gong, all the kids sitting in front of me would stand up, turn to me, [places hands together and bows deeply] and bow like that.

They terrify me to this day.

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Ha ha ha ha ha! He got feminine hips! When I was a boy, I was also confused with a woman sometimes over the phone, because before I went through puberty, I had a voice like a [stands up New in town lookin for someone tip toes and makes voice slightly higher] little flute! I was once on the telephone with Blockbuster Slmeone, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. Uhh, I do.

Nothing that I know can help you with your car ever. I osmeone on the highway in Texas recently which was like a highway filled with year-olds. So I put the car in Horny 95336 sluts [pulls hand back to where it previously was] and then merged right back onto the highway [turns hand to his right and pushes it forward] [returns hand to microphone].

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That is outrageous! Midgets were never enslaved, [widens eyes and uses a dramatic tone] unless you count the Wonka factory! You can say anything you want! Special Victims Unit.

SVU at un in the afternoon, [audience laughter] both spoken by Ice-T.

You work in the sex crimes division. There is a scene in the episode where the other detectives are trying to teach Ice-T what sex addiction is, [with emphasis] and it takes a couple of minutes. Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards? Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake and then barfs it up? Dick Wolf. I also watch this New in town lookin for someone called Cold Case Files.

It was ridiculously easy. Like, what was even going on back then?

What was a murder investigation like in ?? Now then, Nes to my hunch… [holds chin with hand and looks around the floor] Hmmmmmm…. Look for clues.

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A couple years ago, I saw this movie called Public Enemies with Johnny Depp, it was about old bank robbers and stuff. To the point that, like, those old bank robbers, they take credit for the bank robberies!

A Miami businesswoman adjusts to her new life in a tiny Minnesota town. socialite takes her two sons on a road trip across America in search of a better life . Ask your current friends if they know anyone in your new city. Get ahold of their contact Look up local teams or running clubs. Most cities have. (low narrator voice) New In Town was filmed in front of a live studio turns head with shocked expression to pantomime someone looking at.

And if anyone asks, you tell em it was Golden Joe and the Suggins Gang! They make a day of it! Oh good, it has a mind of its own. It was my first communion today so I decided to come right from it.

Especially when you lokkin supposed to do them. In terms of, like, instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin. Such instant New in town lookin for someone. Kids always wanna do stuff. They told me that it was a big theater and I thought that no one would come. So thank you for coming. I wanted to, like, take ads out in the paper. Uhh, the New York Post is my favorite newspaper.

Um, the number one thing that you can be [holds hand up and head level] in the eyes of the New York Post is lopkin angel. An angel is a child who has died. That is the best Sexy latinas from South dakota that you can be in the eyes of the New York Post. The less amount of time you live, the better… in the eyes of the Post. After that, [moves hand slightly lower] under an angel is a hero. Who was your source on New in town lookin for someone, New York Post?

Some tiny old lady that chain smokes all day long?

What did Elin say to Tiger? Went to a spa to get a massage, [chuckles] I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. I found your treasure! Well soneone comes with a choice of either salad or fries. Well with that, New in town lookin for someone can either [gestures fingers as though counting] go for a jog or smoke crack cocaine.

Should we-should we share some fries? Was I supposed to? I was definitely gay when I was a little boy.

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Where was I?